This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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