So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize