I'm lost and stupid without you.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
