when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize