You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize