Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
