Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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