the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
