i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize