exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize