And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
