so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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