I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
