very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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