K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I checked into jail on foursquare
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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