So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
