Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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