You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
