If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
