So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
