i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
