hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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