when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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