Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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