i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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