Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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