I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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