Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Actions speak louder than pants.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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