i just google imaged poop.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
love makes seman taste better
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
