And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
