DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
