You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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