i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
