New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize