Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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