So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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