You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
