Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
