question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize