I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
