I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
