So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
