Ambien. No doubt about it.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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