I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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