Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
