I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
the liver wants what the liver wants
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
