Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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