he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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