Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
