just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
