i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
