Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize