Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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