And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize
