I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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