Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
