Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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