I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
