I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
