Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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