Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
