Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
