no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
