I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
