Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
