Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
