Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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