i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
