Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
