I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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