you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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