So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I need a hoe opinion
go on
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize