I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
