can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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