Your dad touched me again.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
