4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
