when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
