Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
