Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
