i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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