and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
